Ugly Sweater

It is time to once again post another blog. After taking some time off to reflect on my journalistic career I feel it is time to once again step to the fore front of the blog world and be a leader in the industry. I am currently looking for sponsors and are willing to take anything. Tag Huer and Gillette have recently contacted my "peeps" about a recent opening in their company. I was told they have an opening due to a recent fall out!

Much has happened since my last post. For one my "girls" got married. Kholoe, love ya boo! But please know your place on the pole. You are the new Laker wife, you can not be demanding things or starting rumbles during the game. Just sit there and be quiet because LO will be done with you in a few years or you will just catch him "sexting" away!

Tiger, dude what are you doing?
Grubbs replied: "some things are worth waiting for lol . . . besides im at work."
That didn't stop Woods, who insisted: "go to the bathroom and take it."
Grubbs wrote: "haha ur too much."
Hours later that same day, referring to another tryst they had, Grubbs wrote him, "are you leaving me cause your wife is still in newport? :( I am lonely now . . . i like falling asleep in your arms."
"Sorry baby I just can't sleep," Woods replied. "Its just a problem I have. She is not here. They left this morning."
Grubbs wrote back, "I would rather have sat up and talked to u more . . . find out why I keep falling more and more for u."
Woods then joked, "because I'm blasian" -- a reference to his black and Asian background.
Woods had made another racial reference in a text to Grubbs on Oct. 1, when he replied to her text message that had read "I only watch football."
"Figured you would say that," Woods wrote. "Big black guys."
Grubbs replied, "u are my first, last and only black guy."
"Why do I not believe that," Woods wrote.



HAHAHAHA! That is good stuff!! Blasian??? Tiger you a comedian brother?

Eldrick, just follow the Andy Petitte rule. Just tell the whole story and the nation will forgive you. And you picked up a chick at Perkins? Perkins of all places. Eldrick, you are Tiger Tiger Woods ya'll you are way bigger than Perkins!



And check this out! This is no Shaq Vs. either!
http://theybf.com/index.php/2009/11/05/exclusive-is-shaq-cheating-on-shaunieagain/



What a great website to check daily!!

The last episode of Jon and Kate Plus 8 has come and gone. It was an emotional farewell for Kate and I was pulling her home.
http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2009/11/24/2009-11-24_jon_and_kate_plus_8_series_finale_kate_gosselin_tears_up_jon_says_theyll_never_r.html



Jon give me a break dude! Cool shirts you are making too dude! They have to be selling like hot cakes!



From friends of the family I present the joke of the day
What is the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods?..........................................................Santa stopped at 3 ho's!!!



Big ups to John Pruitt as he makes his return to Dylan Dudleyville.



Shout out to the IC Blueboys who are off to a good start at 6-1.



Also Al Yanko has the Fighting Churchills playing better after a slow start!



Milton Bradley update
Someone please take him off our books. We are begging!! And Jim Hendry why no Rich Harden? And if Brad Penny is good for the Cardinals I am going to demand a steroid taste on Dave Duncan!



The best Christmas present ever


Happy Shopping to all. I do all the Christmas shopping for the family so if anyone needs any help just let me know.

Final thought
Go see The Blindside.

Peace, Love and Happiness

I Am Out - Coach Duds

It is not that hard

Practice has started here at UTM. What a sight to be seen. There have been good and bad days to be expected. We just need more good than bad!

How do you not have anything to do in study hall? Would you like me to find you something to do?

MLB Playoffs
The playoffs have been horrible up to this point. We need the Cubs in for some excitement. You all like the Cubs!

No TV
I would like to watch some TV for a couple of nights in a row with no interruptions. I feel bad for letting my viewing audience down. You guys need some entertainment and I do to!

IC Homecoming
Good times were had by all back in Jacksonville this past weekend. It was good to see all my former teammates. My observations during the weekend.

1 - Pyle is really big. His left hook was dominant. And I made him tap out at the Knotty Pine.
2 - Pretty Drew, why do you have a text messaging plan if you do not text? Does that make sense?
3 - Tobin you are horrible with names! We can get you some help brother.
4 - Arms Anderson donated his "towel" to the hall of fame!
5 - Coach Merris just told another story
6 - Was Gaskill at Don's on Saturday night?

Check this dude out. Props to Googs on finding this guy. Dude can sang!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-vorcTAHGQ

For good times sake. A great website. http://www.collegehumor.com/

If anyone finds a Jesus Shuttlesworth jersey anywhere please tell Santa Claus as I would like him to place it under our tree.

A classic quote
"I got a degree I do not need to try and gets yours"

Final Question
Is it really that hard to get a 2.5 GPA in college?

Pretty lame blog post tonight, my apologies. Go Cardinals!!

I am out - Coach Duds

Rope Pull

Long time no see! I hope all is well in "yalls neck of the woods" as they say in the great state of Tennessee. We love hillbillies here! Send them to Martin, USA. If there ever is a Dodge RAM or Chevy Silverado convention it will be held in the land of the Soybean Festival! These cats have nothing on the Sunbird!

UTM Homecoming
What a sight to see ladies and gentlemen. We had rope pull aka tug of war but you sit in holes in the ground. Never seen anything like it in my life. I was waiting for a community game of Red Rover! The AGR frat won the rope pull again. They are the defending champion dating back to 1998. They rolled up to the championship match in a grain truck about 60 deep. Yes kids, they have bleacher set up all week for the rope pull tourney. Students were saving seats an hour before the championship pull! All they did was pull a rope for 20 minutes! Get the tape, get the tape, get the tape was the chant heard throughout campus. I invite all to come next year.

We also have Pyramid and Lip Sink. All the frats perform a cheerleading pyramid. I mean like dudes 15-20 feet in the air, crazy stuff. Ironic stat of the night, the only causality was a UTM cheerleader. Come on Skyhawks, we rise and fall together!

Study Hall
Please come join the Skyhawks every Sunday, Monday and Wednesday night from 8-9:30 in the library. We are trying to get undumb! Our guys work, but the people around them never shut up! You are in the library, be quiet! This is not how the library at IC was, and I would know I was there every night! Paul Spalding had nothing on me. My back still hurts from carrying the boss through. Did you know it says my name on her diploma?

Just listening to a girl trying to hook up with hillbilly in the library. She started talking about his ex-girlfriend. What are you doing chick? Are you trying to lose? You are like a dog, when he says speak you speak otherwise write his papers and make sure you wake him up to go to class! Easy ladies it was just a joke! No harm done!

Ladies this one is for you - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9zJs5nH2JLY

I am placing a pre-order for all Cardinals World Series gear. Please fill out the attached form and mail it back to me.

College Basketball
Good luck to all as they open practice http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGDBR2L5kzI HAHAHA!
Reports are Coach Al Yanko is having open tryouts at Westy U to increase numbers. Please contact him if interested. Chas Sodemann just stay out of the way, do not mess anything up. Coach Kurz, get out me dog!

Stephen Jackson update
It is not your fault chief, blame it on the Warriors. They really let you be a captain? Is Chris Mullin still the GM? Come on Chris, he does not want to be a role model, didn't you know.

Breaking News - it now only costs $17.83 for 2 sandwiches and fries and yes a glass of water at Chick-Fil-A in the University Center. Come take advantage of the great deal.

Joke of the day - The Cardinals are still playing!

Quote of the day - "The man on top of the mountain did not fall there."

Hall of Fame induction
Congrats to Negy as he was recently inducted in the Eureka Hall of Fame. Can I say big ups to you boy!

Also congrats to other guys on our championship team at IC who will be inducted into the Hall of Fame this weekend at Homecoming. Never been more excited in my life! The Hall of Fame is permanent, like it is there forever! Good times will be had by all this weekend in the town that Gregg helped build!

Peace, love and happiness to all!

I am out - Coach Duds

Are you serious dude?

Good Sunday evening from Martin, TN! Hope all is well on your home front. Enjoy the weekend? All is good in the land of the Skyhawks? Anyone still want to take a guess at what a Skyhawk is? Let the guesses flow!

NFL Observations
Ocho what ever - that dude is crazy. He really changed his name to that. And did you see his gloves, all GOLD! He is an idiot, but god love him he is fun to watch!

Titans retro jerseys! Wear them every time Jeff Fisher. And why is Vince Young not playing. He said he is the next Doug Williams! Young Vince you could not hold his jock, shut up already.

Lions winning streak. They won!

Chad Pennington - in today's game he set a career high by throwing the ball 17 yards! His previous longest toss was 16. Congrats to you Chad, you go boy!

EIU's Finest - Come on Tony!

Who wins - State of Missouri NFL teams vs. Bucs and Da Raiders.

Baseball
I hate the Cardinals! Give it a rest already! Al Yanko I am starting to believe that the grandest wedding of them all might have jinxed the Fighting Pinella's! I am fearing for the worst.

Sad Day
My girl Khloe Kardashian got married to Kobe's sidekick. If you are not watching her show you need to be. Great television drama!

Anyone seen or heard from Horsy aka Knowledge since his dooms day? I am beginning to wonder about him. Is he ok? Does he still have his mason jar?

5 chicks and 28 dudes!!!!!!! Not good Corny!

Class Story
In one of my weight training classes, 8 am class, I had a student ask me if it was cool if he could make his missed class because he was tired and did not want to come. The cat was dead serious! I said NO, but good try. He said no Coach I really can not do that. I said no, I do not get to miss work if I am tired. Get up and come to class. He said coach you missed class the other day and did not tell us. I said your right it was a Friday and I was giving you guys the day off, but since you are questioning me, you have to come to class when I am not here. Conversation went on for awhile and then I just started laughing. I know that is wrong, but come on, the dude was serious. To make the story even better the student is a junior and wants to be a nurse. Lord help us!

Quote of the Day
If they are going to ask you to cook the dinner, they should at least let you buy the groceries. - The Tuna

Joke of the Day
A student is sleeping in class, the teacher slaps his desk with a ruler. You know what the student did?.....................................................................................................................................Woke Up!!!!!!!!

New Spread
The Boss and I just got a nice new place here in the big city! Stay tuned for pics to follow. Or log on to our web cam for 24 hour viewing pleasure!!!! I won't be nice, Hammer!

I am out - Coach Duds

Are you a Bro?

I hope all is well for everyone and the weekend was good. Time to get back to work kids!

Recent Journey
I have been called out in an email again by the Hairless One. On Labor Day Horsy officially tied the know to Mrs. Holt in Nashville and a great time was had by all. It was a long weekend. I am not going to mention anything else about the trip as the past is the past Rev. I would like to mention that I could not hand with LeBomb James, I am not afraid to admit it. He was the King!!!! On a side note, I really do think I got roofied!!!!

The Lou
Thanks to the hospitality shown to me by the Corner Pocket this weekend. My guys took care of me again. These two young lads also added to their wardrobe collection. As I move up the charts they seem to think the gear should be moved up as well. Used to be Dri-Fit shirts, now they want team polos! Buc you just make sure the beer continues to taste good and Spence when I make money someday, I need you to manage it. But for now, I will help the Skyhawks win and get players and you guys can continue to live through me. You are two of several. I am just trying to be a Bro!!!!! You got me Bro? Aight den Bro!

Soybean
It has come and gone. What a sight to see. They came out of the woodworks for this boys and girls! Best part was the alligator tail. Damn it was good. And no it did not taste just like chicken. Believe it or not, it taste like alligator! If you need to learn more about gators please contact Coach Jay at your earliest convenience. He does a great Nigel ??? impersonation.

New Favorite Show
Khloe and Kourtney Take on Miami. Why are you guys not watching? Show is unreal! I recently had to stop Khloe from calling me. I am married to a beautiful wife Khloe. Please stop calling at all hours of the night begging for my attention. Get over me already!

Jon & Kate Update
Are you serious Jon? So now you go on national TV and say that about my girl, WOW!!!! Kate I have a new address now. Look me up!

Joke of the Day
What do you call a horse that is running?......................................................................................A running horse!

Ladies and gentlemen please remember one of my lifelong goals to have a joke published on a Laffy Taffy wrapper! Any thoughts or suggestions?

Get a life Milton Bradley!!!!

Playoffs Prediction
I hate the Cardinals!!!!

Quote of the Day
It does not matter how blind the horses are just load the trailer. - Lou Holtz

Shout Out
Thanks to my host family here in Martin. Good people.

I am out - Coach Duds

Apology's to All

I hope everyone has enjoyed their time away from the blog. I want to apologize to all for the lack of posting, I make no excuses. I will make time for the blog, you faithful followers deserve better.

Recent Events 1st
Kayne are you serious? You have never been right in the first place, but dude that is out of this world. I agree with you that the Beyonce video is unreal but come on dude leave the girl alone. And then you start crying on Jay Leno, really? And now you need to take time off to reflect. Reflect on what? How next time maybe you want be chugging Hennesey and Vodka back stage. You got money bro so do what you want, as you would say, "I aint hating."

One More Look
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=COP1IK4syqU

Jordan Hall of Fame Speech
The GOAT ladies and gentlemen should have been the introduction. And really Byron Russell just be quiet for your own sake. You should have never opened your mouth. Leave that man alone. You cant get him now and he embarrassed you for the title. To you Jerry Krause I could not agree more with his Airness. You blew it up, chief. You and you only, no one else. No need to to do what you did. I am still pissed at Jordan for retiring for those two years. It could have been the greatest NBA Finals of all time if the Bulls and Rockets would have squared off. How great would that have been? I have one question for his Airness, how old is your new girl? She can not be much older than your kids. You can do better, but I understand, you just playing the game!

Illini Debacle
Try, just try Fighting Zooks! Enough said.

Loser Sooners
Is it bad if I root for them to lose?

High School Football Season
It is beginning to look like another long season for the Fighting Redskins. It is hard to create a winning culture. You can not teach winning, we as coaches have to put our kids in a position to win and help them experience the feeling. Winning is learned through experiences, good and bad. Hopefully the Hairless One can help turn the ship around. As Lou Holtz said, "It does not matter how rocky the sea, just bring the ship to shore."

Congrats to the Fighting Craig Boone's with a victory in week two.

As for football here in Tennessee, the home town Westview Chargers are yet to win a game. According to people here, the Chargers are usually a state power. Not this year I guess.

WWE
Trish Startus made her return last night as guest host. The WWE is a joke now. It used to be a can not miss Monday night event. Now I find myself listening to Mike and Mike try commentate a Monday Night Football game. I love the show guys, but that was not good. Side question, did Raiders coach Tom Cable jack anyone last night after the lose? You know the D-Coordinator was running for his life in the locker room!

Fantasy Football
I am not sure about the squad this year. I need production from Brady "Golden Boy" Quinn and Trent "I really have to play with TO" Edwards to play. That is a huge risk. Come on Brady!

Team Fed
The run at the US Open has ended! I was rocking the hat in Rocky Top land and I am not sure anyone knew what I was wearing!

Word on the Street
Westy U has just added to it basketball roster!

Check out utmsports.com for all your college sports needs!

Joke of the Day
What do you call a frog that talks?.......................................................................................................A talking frog.

Shout out to the freshmen on the Fighting Hornets volleyball team. Do your thing!

Quote of the Day
"Workout now!"

I am out - Coach Duds

Change is in the Air

It has been a crazy few weeks for the Fighting Dudley's. I made a decision that not many would make and then I got very lucky and fortunate to have some things work out for the Boss and I. A sneak peak at what is going down. I feel like I am jinxing myself but I do not think it is a dream.










Yes Mrs. Mizzou, we are headed to rocky top, kind of. The Vols have nothing on the Skyhawks. What is a Skyhawk? I would like your input. Anyone know?



Jon and Kate update
I first would like to express my disappointment with Al Yanko. I recently received some disturbing text from him while watching the show, you are wrong Al! Kate you are my girl! Jon for the love of me I do not understand why you continue to sponsor Ed Hardy. Dude you are not mid twenties. And nice ear rings tough guy! Reminder to all episodes air Monday nights at 8 pm on TLC.



Shaq vs.
A new great show on ABC. Shaq took on Ben "I follow in Kobe Bryant's footsteps" Rothliesburger last night. Shaq looks damn good in a football jersey. I need more of this Shaq http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hNJtxvObp_o. Classic, dude is great. The Big Entertainer!



Oh shit, Kevin Gregg just gave up another home run!



GRE
I have to take the GRE in October to finish grad school. Now what fing sense does this make. I have already completed nine hours of grad work, but now I have to take the test. Look people, just give my degree. I am not going to try in your classes. I am going to do as little work as possible and still get a 3.o GPA. Try as you may but you can't hold me down. I did get kicked out of Dick Fry's class at IC. I know Captian Julz you were embarrassed because "Your Man" should never do something like that, but I did get a better grade than you. Dick Fry give me a break dude. I own you Dean Fry. What is the point of this GRE thing? I will let you all share in my glory when I receive grad student of the year for all universities.



Damn, watch out, another home run given up by Mr. Gregg.



Fantasy Football League
Googs is getting the league set up. I need to continue my dominance. I do not think I have ever lost a game. Someone please correct me if I am wrong.



Countdown
17 days and counting until Horsy puts his nuts in the mason jar by the bed. Good luck Knowledge!



Amtrak Experience
Train is much better than the G-Hound. Only a couple of issues.



1. A screaming baby. Big ole lady and some damn child screaming the whole damn time. Not crying, yelling gibberish and the lady did not say a damn thing. Maybe the lady could not talk either but shit lady your child was not making one bit of damn sense. Help a brother out and quiet that girl.



2. Some lady kept saying how beautiful the ride was. Are you serious lady? We went from the STL to Bloomington. What the hell were you looking at?



The Quote of the Day



Danvers Days
What a huge success it was. I think there was a tractor in the parade. I also secured Husband if the Year, as I watched the entire parade in a monsoon. I am way in the lead now kids!

Take Care of Yourself
Coach Worrell is back home after a brief stay in the hospital with some messed up symptoms. Take it easy Coach

Congrats
Jake and Heather on the good news that little Dylan Wilson will be arriving sometime in the near future. A question to ponder, will the child have a sweater vest as well?

I apologize for late post. I will do my best to be better.

I am out - Coach Duds